Monday, November 3, 2014

Week of 11/03/2014

Want Change? Then Stop Being A Political Retard!
Before we get any further, I’m sure you’ll notice that I’m using a word that the “politically correct” crowd will throw screaming fits over.  They will claim that I have “no right” to use that word; that it is insulting and demeaning to a certain group of people.  They can go to hell, because the word is correct and appropriate for the people that I will be talking about.  And if they have a problem with it, then they are ones as well.
That word is “retard”.
This column will be posted twenty-five hours away from the start of the 2014 Mid-Term Elections.  Year after year, I have been telling people that if they don’t like how the system is, if they don’t like what is going on in Washington, if they don’t like the gridlock and the pompous self-serving posturing, that they have to do something about it.  They have to actually vote for the change that they want.
Time and time again, I have argued, pleaded, reasoned, lectured, and scolded people as to what needs to be done.  Time and time again, it has seemingly gone in one ear and out the other with these same people.  Election after election, nothing really changes too much.  It just gets worse and worse and people keep on wringing their hands and gnashing their teeth and wondering why that is.
And then I realized what the real problem is…
The real problem is not the corrupt politicians we keep on sending back to office.  It’s not the rigged gerrymandered system that is more crooked than a 3-Card Monty convention.  It’s not the special interest groups in K-Street and C-Street that have turned America into a kleptocratic oligarchy with their oodles of “soft money” that allows them to buy and sell politicians like Wall Street stock and crank out slanderous ads that essentially are “hate porn”.
No, they’re not the real problem.
The problem is you!
Yes, you!
If you’re someone who complains about how screwed up government is, but then doesn’t vote in any of the elections, then you are the real problem!
If you are one of the multitudes that complain endlessly about the politicians in Washington and the various state capitals and then continue to vote for your own incumbents to those same places, then you are the real problem!
If you are one of the multitudes that agree, support, whine, demand, and scream for third party options, that sign countless petitions and agree in polls that call for a third party, and then turn around and refuse to vote for those same third party options when they are on your ballot, claiming that they can “never win” and that you “need” to vote for “the lesser of two evils”, then you are the real problem!
If you are one of the multitudes that moronically think that the “real problem” is simply one dominant political party doesn’t have enough power over the system to supposedly “fix” all of the things that they never got around to fixing before even when they had that power, then you are the real problem!
If you are one of the multitudes that think that there have always been two dominant political parties – and only these two specific dominant political parties – since the creation of the United States, then you are the real problem!
If you are one of the multitudes that demand change, that scream for change, that claim to want something to be done to fix the problems with this messed-up failing Raubwirtschaft of a nation, but then does absolutely nothing to support those that truly push for change when all you have to do is something as simple as vote for that change, then you – each and every stinking one of you – are the real problem!
And I am through trying to reach out to you.  I am through trying to appeal to your better judgment.  I am through trying to appeal to your sense of reason or sanity.  I am through with you.
The old saying goes that you can’t fix stupid, but I have discovered that the vast majority of you aren’t stupid.  You’re worse than stupid. 
You are political retards.
And, let’s get brutally honest here… being a political retard is even worse than someone who is actually suffering from diminished mental capacity, because at least the people that used to be written off as being “retards” still try to do better.  They still strive to keep up with what they have.
But you political retards can’t even do that!  You don’t want to do better.  You don’t want to strive to keep up.  Instead, you’ve plunged yourself into Fox News and talk radio.  You follow their scripts, regurgitate their talking points, and re-post and re-send their snarky and sadistic messages on social media and email groups.
You choose to keep yourselves retarded!  That’s something that people that suffer from actual diminished mental capacity have no control over.  They can’t choose to be that way.  But you can, and you do.  This is why you deserve the title “retard” more than any of them.  You chose to be political retards!
I would put real money (if I had any) on a wager that says that if every single one of you who “demands” change, that pretends to actually want things to be different, that really want “third party” options, if every single one of you actually voted accordingly, the political landscape would radically change overnight.  You would get that change that you wanted.  All of the pollsters would fear for their jobs because they would be proven wrong.  All of the political consultants would find themselves discredited and out of work.  And the special interest groups that you so love to complain about… they would all have to scramble to find out what happened and try to get back the control they’ve coveted from all of us.
But that would require that you actually do your part, and you don’t want to do that, do you?  No.  Of course not!  Why should you do all the hard work of voting and actually risk making the “wrong choice”; as if your previous choices from both corrupt dominant political parties were any better.
That’s why I’m no longer blaming the corrupt politicians or their friends in K-Street and C-Street for future messes.  I’m blaming the rest of you.  I’m blaming all of you who refuse to do the right thing, who refuse to vote according to your conscience and instead waste your vote on continuing the corruption and the greed and the graft.  Every government shutdown.  Every instance of gridlock.  Every so-called “constitutional crisis” and “budgetary showdown” that comes up from this point on is on all on your heads.  You voted for this.  You voted for them.  It is high time you get the blame for what you have done when you surrender your vote to the two dominant political parties.
And I’ll let you in on a little secret: the politicians already do this.  This is why they are operating with complete impunity every time they pull one of their little stunts.  They don’t blame themselves or the system or K-Street and C-Street or “soft money”.  They blame you.  Because they know that you’ll vote for them no matter what they do.  And they are laughing about it behind your backs!
From this election on, there are no more excuses for political retards.  The two dominant political parties will never change as long as they know you will continue to vote for them.  You can call yourselves the Tea-With-Lemon-And-Cookies Party and it won’t mean a single thing as long as you continue to vote for either of the two dominant political parties.  They have no reason to change their habits as long as you refuse to.  I know this.  They know this.  It is high time that the rest of you finally accept this.

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