Week of 12/01/2014

Has The Bloom Finally Fallen Off The Black Friday Rose?
– by David Matthews 2

I had a rather strange experience this weekend; one that I know other people experienced as well.

This past weekend was the dreaded Thanksgiving Weekend.  The weekend of “Black Friday”, where people mob the local stores for Holiday sales, and the stores are all-too-eager to take their money.

A time of chaos and cacophony.  A time when parking spaces are at a premium and thieves are everywhere.  A time when you don’t want to be there unless you really have to, and then you have to get out of there as fast as you can.

That’s the way it’s always been, right?  That all comes with the “magic” of Black Friday, where the almighty dollar rules with an iron fist and the almighty ever-precious business world can make their money for the year.

But… a funny thing happened this year.

I had to go to the local Super-Wal-Mart for groceries.  I had a simple plan of attack.  Go in, get a space as close to the store as possible, get just what we needed to get, and then get out of there quickly as possible.

But when I showed up, I was able to get a regular parking spot very close to the entranceway.  I was able to get a cart.  My mom was able to get a powered scooter.  And we walked in to find it… quiet!

No, really, it was quiet!

There was no cacophony.  No screaming children.  No crying children.  No temper tantrums.  No whiny ads for birth control with their incessant mantra of “I want a toy!”  No sleigh bells.  Everything was… quiet.

I had to check my watch.  Yes, it was still the middle of the afternoon on the day after “Black Friday”.

Oh, there were plenty of deals in the isles.   Overstocked Blu-Ray movies at severely discounted rates.  Seasonal items for sale.  Food, and plenty of it.  The shelves were stocked.  The checkout isles were open.

What was missing were the overflowing throngs of people.

I talk to some other folks and find that this wasn’t just a fluke.  That the store had plenty of parking spaces on Black Friday as well.  And it wasn’t just this store.  Other stores also had lackluster attendance.

Now, folks, I realize that this is far from scientific.  This is just my observation and the random observations of others that I’ve picked up.  And I would suspect that any “official” numbers would “magically” tell a different story.  But I have to wonder….

Has it finally happened?  Has the bloom finally fallen off the financial rose we call “Black Friday”?

I’m not saying that people aren’t showing up on Thanksgiving night like the idiots they are, waiting for those infamous and sometimes literal “door-buster sales”.  They are.  Oh, they are. 

But let’s get brutally honest here… I suspect, and I dare hope, that the rest of us are slowly wising up and defying the almighty script that says that we have to rush to the store and spend like maniacs after we’ve stuffed ourselves with turkey and… well, stuffing.  That we “have” to go into debt to buy as much stuff as we can for the almighty ever-commercialized Christmas so Big Corporate and the ever-precious “small businesses” can make their money for the year.  That is, after all, how the term “Black Friday” came about in the first place.  It’s the time when businesses supposedly go from being in red-letter debt to black-letter profit.

If what I suspect and hope is true, then there are several reasons why this is happening.  I really don’t think that it’s just a matter of us simply “wising up”.  That would require a level of comprehension that we haven’t displayed anyplace else that would really matter.  Like, you know, at the ballot box.  Or even when it comes to our cellphones.

I strongly suspect the first reason would be the creep of the start of “Black Friday” into being “Black Thursday”.  I remember back when the start of the holiday sales would be the normal start of the business day.  Then it became 6am.  Then 4am, 2am, and then midnight.  Then it crossed over into Thanksgiving evening, and now even Thanksgiving Day!

Yes, a lot of people are seriously questioning the “logic” of the decision to bleed the cult of commercialism into Thanksgiving itself.  But… not too loudly, right?  After all, the almighty script demands compliance, even if it’s under protest.  But even without debate, just forcing people to show up on Thursday for some stores means that they pretty much blow their financial wad then and not on the other days.

And, by the way, it should be noted that the almighty script has counter-attacked on the debate by accusing critics of “Black Friday” and “Black Thursday” of engaging in “classism”.  No joke.  To borrow from Inigo Montoya: “I do not think it means what you think it means.”

Here’s another possible reason why “Black Friday” has gotten lighter… because the so-called “big deals” are really no big deals at all.

I was in that aforementioned Super-Wal-Mart the week previously and I noticed that they were selling Sony’s PlayStation 4 game system for $399.  Then a few days later, I open up their “Super-Deluxe Oversized Three-Tiered Black Friday Sales Spectacular Extravaganza” and saw that they had the PS4 system for the “low-low-insanely-low sale” of… $399.  A difference of absolutely nothing!  Nothing!  And this was just the game system itself!  Nothing else bundled in.

Speaking of… the reason why I was in that Super-Wal-Mart that week was because I was purchasing a laptop bundle that I saw in the store for $298.  It was the best deal that I had ever come across for a laptop, and I could not match it anywhere else either online or in another store.  There was no fanfare for that deal either.  They simply had it on the shelf with all of the other laptops for sale.  I bought it, took it home, and even cobbled this article together using it.

So, just out of laughs, I checked in online to see if that same bundled deal was any sweeter for Black Friday.  Not only was it not any sweeter, they didn’t even have it available anymore.  Good thing I decided to not wait for Thanksgiving, huh?  And that was just one practical example.

Yes, Big Corporate is playing con-games on the great unwashed, offering so-called “sales” that really aren’t and expecting us to simply lap them up and pat ourselves on the back for our supposed “hunter-gathering” skills.

The Internet is another big factor.  Not only do we have “Black Thursday” to go along with “Black Friday”, but we also have “Cyber Monday”, where people supposedly get great sales online.  It’s really not a new concept.  It’s been around for over a decade now.  But unlike the brick-and-mortar stores, the online shopper isn’t pressured to leap at any old sale.  They can (and do) shop around before hitting that “Cashier” button.  And the more stupidity we see on TV about “Black Friday” and now “Black Thursday”, the more reason we have to enjoy the weekend and wait until Monday when we can shop in our sweats instead of sweating it out in a mob.

And then there’s the elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about.  And, no, I don’t mean the fascistic GOP. 

I’m talking about the economy.

No, the economy is still not doing too well.  Historically-speaking, it took America over a decade and one world war to get us out of the Great Depression, and that was with Franklin Roosevelt’s New Deal programs.  We’re still struggling to get out of the Great Recession of just a few years ago, and that is with Barack Obama’s Raw Deal shoved down our gullets.  He and his Washington Elite friends gave the 1% the gold and the 99% got the shaft. 

We can tell ourselves that things are getting better over and over again, and we can have the goddamned script tell us that things are getting better over and over again, but that doesn’t mean that things really are getting better.  We’re just having to make do with less and less and lying to ourselves about it.  And that doesn’t bode well for the almighty world of corporate consumerism, which still demands more and more with little in return, especially at this time of the year.

And in case you have any doubts about that, all you have to do is look at the recent plummeting price of oil to see that concern whispered about in the not-so-hallowed halls of Wall Street.  We can only lie to ourselves for so long.

All of these things do not bode well for the almighty Big Business, but that is actually a good thing.  If they can’t count on our mindless consumerism at this time of the year for them to make their money, then they will have to resort to the honest approach.  To treat us as an essential part of the financial equation instead of the one that they take for granted.  That means better prices, better quality, better deals, and fewer games and scams.

Or at least one could wish for it to happen like that.  This is, after all, the Holiday Season; a time of wishes and dreams and people who sometimes try to make those things come true.

Week of 11/24/2014

Hey Morning Radio, Knock Off The Games!
– by David Matthews 2

This past week I was reminded of why I hate listening to morning radio.

I have to listen to the radio for two reasons: the weather and traffic.  My early-morning commute to my bill-paying job is hell, and I need all the help I can get to make it there and eventually home.

The afternoon drive isn’t as bad, because I’m going away from the city and I’m not under a clock like I am in the morning.  Plus I have plenty of music choices in the afternoon.

It’s the morning radio that gives me nothing but grief.

My most obvious choice is the local news station.  Or at least one that isn’t regurgitating the crap from their overpaid talk radio whores.  Unfortunately they seem to operate on this fixation that the universe ends just outside of Atlanta’s 285 Perimeter.  You have to have something burning or blown up before they even consider that life exists in the northeast area of the city.  And, of course, they have their own overpaid talk show whores that they need to hype up with snarky thirty-second sound bites.  And let’s not forget their sponsors either.  The same half-dozen commercials that are repeated every hour on the hour and don’t change except maybe every six months.

So I jump on over to one of several music stations… except that in the morning they all have their overpaid morning radio personalities that want to bore us to death with their pop-culture diatribes and their relationships. 

Music?  What music?  Oh, you wanted to listen to music?  Sorry; you must mistake us with a corporate-owned radio station that actually gives a care about what you want!

But every, so often, they do screw up and do play some music on a few stations, so I jump to those when I’m sick of hearing the same regurgitated “news radio” garbage.

So this past week, I’m jumping around and I hear that one of the female morning radio personalities will be posing nude for an art class.

Okay, you now have my attention.

I listen more into this, and apparently the morning personalities had this college football bet going where the loser would be posing nude for an art class.  The male host of the show was sure that he was going to be the loser, but it turned out that the female co-host was the one that ended up losing.  So they use the subject of Kim Kardashian (and her media) as a way for her to explain that she’s looking forward to posing nude herself for a bunch of art students and treat this as a way to empower herself.  And, of course, the guys tease her about the whole thing, saying that it’ll probably be a room full of old guys.

So this goes on for a day or two.  Every so often, I’d catch their little discussions about it in-between talk about music or movies.  A mention here and there that it’s going to happen.  And I’m wondering who this female co-host is and if she’s attractive, and if they will go through with it.

Then… this past Friday… the shoe drops.

Apparently her boyfriend, whom she’s in a long-term relationship with, didn’t know this was going to happen and he’s supposedly not happy about her posing nude for an art class.  And now everyone is apologetic because this could be a relationship-killer, and nobody wants that to happen (even though they’re not married).

Even worse, callers call in to defend her and now I’m made to feel guilty that she even lost the bet!

You know what, guys?  This has all of the signs of a hoax, and it’s one of the reasons why I hate morning radio in the first place!

First of all, I don’t buy the idea that the co-host simply didn’t tell her boyfriend that this could happen.  Especially someone supposedly in a long-term relationship!  Even if she didn’t lose the bet, I can’t see anyone staying silent about that kind of a wager.

Seriously.  You mean to tell me that all during the set-up beforehand she didn’t turn to her long-term significant other and say “Hey, honey, you’ll never guess what we came up with for the show!”  Right!

And then we have the whole matter of being made to feel guilty about her losing the bet.  I have to call B.S. on that!  Funny how the idea never comes up that the only woman in the group could possibly end up losing the bet.  Funny how nobody wondered if the guys had a significant other that might object to it.

Besides, the idea was yours, radio people!  It wasn’t mine.  So why the hell are you trying to get us to feel guilty when it was your wager and your stakes to begin with?

The answer to that, of course, is that it’s just a diversion.  A way to call off the whole game without feeling like the listeners are getting screwed, which I strongly suspect they are.

You know, a good friend of mine who is also a Playboy Playmate once told me about a wall challenge that she was invited to take part in for a local radio station during Spring Break.  The loser would have to run around the “party area” topless.  Of course the Playmates won, but not because they were faster at wall-climbing than the male deejays.  It was because nobody would have to be afraid of going to jail if the guys ran around without tops.  In other words, they knew going into it that it would be just a tease.

Let’s get brutally honest here… there is nothing more infuriating with morning radio than when they play continual games and scams on their listeners.  And I strongly suspect that I’m not the only one that thinks this way.

A few years back, another morning radio show crew played an “April Fool’s Day” prank on their listeners.  Their host was supposedly unceremoniously fired.  The announcement was made in the middle of the Friday show, and some people thought it was simply a weekend stunt and he would be back on Monday morning.  Except he wasn’t.  And people started talking about it.  It even made the station’s news segment, which led people to believe that it wasn’t a hoax.  All week, people talked about it and wondered what the host did that warranted his termination.  The co-hosts continued without him, and every so often they would call their broadcast colleague up to get a comment, only to say that he wouldn’t be able to talk about it yet “on advice of his attorney”.

A whole week of this went by, and then finally he is “allowed” to make his “statement” about the subject.  He calls in, apologizes to everyone, then steps away from the phone and says to the in-studio microphone “April Fool!”

It was a hoax.  The whole thing, the firing, the news reports, the “controversy”, were all an orchestrated hoax on the listeners.

And while it would be “funny” if it really was an “April Fool’s Day” hoax, this happened in mid-May.  It was a time when people did not expect to be taken for the fools that they were for trusting that radio station.

Guess what?  That morning show and their hosts did not last long, because listeners stopped listening to them.  No boycotts.  No petitions.  No protests.  Just enough people turning off their radios for their corporate masters to say “okay, they’re done.”

And that is probably the best revenge for these morning radio people that think they feel entitled to take their listeners for granted with cheap stunts and emotional frauds.  That people stop listening to them.  Don’t call in.  Don’t complain.  Just stop tuning in when their morning show is on.  Big Corporate will do the rest.

This is something that the morning radio people need to comprehend.  They need us.  We do not need them.  Fool us long enough, mess with us too much, and we will stop listening to them.  And there is nothing “cool” about messing with our minds or our emotions.

The truth is that we do have choices when it comes to what we listen to in our own vehicles.  Big Corporate may own and control the radio stations, but they don’t own or control our dials.  If we don’t like what they give us, we can turn it off and put on something we do like.

New ventures in digital radio and the Internet helped end the “shock jock”.  It’s high time that the “morning zoo” personalities follow suit.