The 2019
Brutally Honest Awards
So here we are again... end of yet another year.
If it seems like time is just flying, apparently it’s not your
imagination... it’s that you’re getting old.
Well, that’s according to a new
study that came out a few weeks ago.
Funny, it seems like it just came out yesterday.
Anyway, let’s get to it before we get too old to remember what happened.
The Biggest Losers For 2019:
The United States of America – And let’s get brutally
honest here... as long as Narcissist President Donald Trump is in office, the
United States will continue losing. Just
like last year.
The Biggest Winner for 2019:
Russian Leader Vladimir Putin – Same reason. Come to think of it, it was the same reason
in previous years that he’s won.
The Biggest Turnaround for
2019: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi – Pelosi went from being Narcissist Trump’s
second-best ally and enabler to the biggest thorn in the orange-stained narcissist’s
side. And it has to do with one thing:
impeachment. Her decision to finally... *finally*... get the
ball rolling on impeachment for Narcissist Trump’s criminal acts of bribery and
obstruction has showed that she has some measure of duty to the American
people.
Understand this: we started 2019 with Pelosi refusing
to support anything resembling impeachment!
She even said as much this past March! Even
after the release of the failure that is the Mueller Report, Pelosi pumped the brakes on any kind of
talk of impeachment. It took Narcissist
Trump being himself and going that one step further with bribing and extorting
the Ukrainian government for his own political purposes for her to finally find
the ovaries to do the right thing. And
this wasn’t about something that was done before Narcissist Trump ran for
office, like the various alleged sexual assault from
the 1990’s. This was something that happened this year!
And just a reminder: bribery *is* specifically mentioned in the
United States Constitution
as one of the justifications for impeachment.
Look it up if you don’t believe me.
Biggest And Most Disgusting Lapdog For Narcissist
Trump in 2019 (tie): Attorney General Robert Barr, Senator Lindsey Graham, Congressman
Matt Goetz –
There are actually a whole plethora of Trump Party (formerly GOP) members that can qualify, but these three are
the biggest and worst. Surprisingly, Senate
Majority Leader and perpetual turtle-dick Mitch “The Bitch” McConnell did not
make the cut.
Biggest Letdown in 2019: The Mueller Report – Yes, even though yours truly warned just
last year that the screwjob was coming with Robert Mueller’s much hyped
report on Narcissist Trump, that still doesn’t mean it wasn’t a letdown for the
American people.
Yes, Mueller was hamstringed from the beginning by Narcissist
Trump’s own handlers by saying that Orange Stain could not be indicted. But he still gave only subtle nudges to the
House of Representatives that they should impeach Narcissist Trump, aka “Individual
1”, which was not enough to get past Speaker Pelosi (who had yet to find her ovaries), and it led the Narcissist-in-Chief
to proclaim absolute vindication.
Worse yet, it was followed by Narcissist Trump
committing bribery with the Ukrainian government, which could very well lead to
his impeachment as soon as this month.
So, if Mueller didn’t follow the supposed “guidelines” and actually
indicted Narcissist Trump, or even openly called for impeachment after his
report instead of giving mealy-mouthed “suggestions”, then maybe Narcissist
Trump wouldn’t have committed another criminal act.
The “Unflushed Turd” Award for 2019: Narcissist President
Donald Trump –
Because it’s
always all about him, don’t you know?
One of the hardest things this commentator tried to do
in 2019 was to not make every article about Narcissist Trump. To avoid talking about the Orange Stain. To not mention Trumpaconallus. Talk about abusive business practices. Talk about Big
Tech. Talk about how certain ideas
to fix the abusive economy – like healthcare
– will
inevitably fail. Even talk about the
upcoming 2020 con-job and all the wannabes, including some
who really didn’t consider running.
But, no matter what, he keeps popping back up like an unflushed turd. Hence the award.
The Worst Narcissist Trump-Wannabe for 2019: Ex-“Papa”
John Schnatter
– Poor John. He gets booted out of his
own business for something he said last year.
Then he starts in on some diatribe about how he had “40
pizzas in 30 days” and how they don’t “taste” like they should and that
supposedly reflects on the people who replaced him, and then he promises that “a
day of reckoning will come”.
Poor John. Poor Pizza Stain. You had 40 pizzas in 30 days? Even when I was in college and I practically
lived on Domino’s Pizza every day, I didn’t eat more than one pizza a day. And it wasn’t even consumed all that evening. I practically invented the idea of “breakfast
pizza”. But even then, it wasn’t 40
pizzas in 30 days.
You got problems, John. You need help.
Oh, and his
wife left him and filed for divorce, saying their marriage was “broken”. No doubt!
The Worst Thing About 2019:
The Dominance of “Fake” – From fan castings and fan theories
being passed off as “news
articles” to daily campaign “polls” that are nothing more than fantasy
politics, we’ve been inundated with phoniness.
We’re being marketed to by influencers
who are more interested in getting you to buy product than in knowing who you
are or sharing what their day is really like.
Back in August I pointed out a
great TED Talk video by actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt about creativity versus getting
attention. If you haven’t seen it yet, I
urge you to and think for a minute about what we’ve been focusing more on
lately.
I’m not going to delude myself to think that I have droves of fans and followers. A lot of those “likes” and “follows” on my
Instagram and Twitter accounts are not who they pretend to be. But I’d rather be myself and creative to a
handful of people than to be fake and get thousands of fake followers. You’ve seen what happens to some of those
folks.
Best Superhero Movie for 2019: “Avengers: Endgame” – As if there would be anything better this
year? Maybe you were expecting me to say
it was “Brightburn” or “Joker”? Sorry, but I have no intentions
on seeing either of them unless it’s on the movie channels and I am bored out
of my skull. “Captain Marvel” and “Spider-Man: Far From Home” were okay.
“Shazam” was okay. It was “Endgame” that really
took it all for 2019.
The Most Disgusting Trend in Comics for 2019: DC Comics
and their Sick Villain Fetish – For the past few years, DC Comics has gone on a really sick fetish for
villains. Whether it is to give villains
like Lex Luthor their “year”, or to give them their own comic, or their personal
favorite of turning superheroes into villains – as seen in the two “Injustice”
games which actually led to 3 comic series – DC Comics has become the mastermind
for villains, and thus the archenemy for comic book fans who are, finally,
getting sick of it. They even had their
own “zombie apocalypse” morbid fetish series “DCeased”, which, like Marvel’s never-ending
sick zombie fetish, does not end well.
Folks, if you’re sick of it as is this commentator,
then there is an alternative. Look at
some of the other comic publishers, including (cheap
self-promoting plug) Battlerock
Comics. And maybe, after DC and
Marvel lose enough supporters, they might get the goddamned hint and make it
about the heroes again.
And finally...
The Last Word For 2019: To Narcissist President Trump – At some point in the next few weeks there
will most likely be articles of impeachment being brought up and voted on. We could very well start 2020 with you being
impeached. That is a stain that you cannot
get rid of. Even if the Senate fails to
convict you (which would most likely happen),
it does not “un-impeach” you, any more than it did for President Bill
Clinton. That impeachment is
a part of his legacy, especially for what he was impeached for. Being impeached also does not negate your
election any more than getting caught in affairs negate your current marriage.
And I will say this, sir: if you are impeached, you
have done that to yourself!
I’ve mentioned earlier that Speaker Pelosi did not
want impeachment earlier in the year.
She was the
best enabler that you could ask for in the House. She wanted to work with you, not want you
gone. What changed all that? You did!
You couldn’t leave well enough alone after the Mueller Report fizzled.
Maybe it was just in your nature. You’ve gotten used to having your way for so
long that maybe you just couldn’t help but mess with the Ukrainians just because. But the point remains that this is still on
you. You chose the action, and nobody
has even tried to disprove it. All you
and your enablers have been doing is maligning the people who are calling you
on it, much like Ralph Cifaretto in “The Sopranos” excused his actions by maligning
the victims.
So, yes, if you are impeached during the holiday
break, it is on you, sir. And like the
stain on a certain blue dress, that impeachment will also be a part of your legacy. Deny it all you want. Scream “Witch Hunt” until your lungs burn and
your Twitter fingers fall off. It doesn’t
change that you’ve been identified as the Wicked Witch of the West Wing. Because truth is not partisan. Only phoniness is.
See you in 2020.
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