Monday, November 20, 2000

Week of 11/20/2000

Hail To The Thieves
- by David Matthews 2

For the past few years, I’ve been warning people… both online and in the real word… that it really wouldn’t matter if either the Republican candidate or the Democratic one would win the election, America would be screwed. And especially this year -- where we have two bland, nepotistic candidates whose only difference would be akin to trying to differentiate between red and black ants -- I have warned people that this country is screwed no matter if it’s George Bush or Al Gore who wins the election.

Not only have they delighted me in proving me right, but they’ve done it in such a grand fashion.

Not to mention they’ve done it very quickly. One would’ve expected people to feel that they’ve been screwed over after either one of these two were already sworn into office. The same kind of screwed-over feeling America felt in 1990 when President George H. Bush reneged on his "no new taxes" pledge, and again in 1993 by President Bill Clinton following his pledge to only "tax the rich."

Matter of fact, Clinton has done plenty of "screwing-over" with the American public.. they just won’t know how badly until after ol’ Narcissus Rex has left the Oval Office. But I digress.

Indeed, the election hasn’t even been over yet, and people are feeling screwed-over by parties loyal to Al Gore and George W. Bush. The vast pizza-eating, beer-drinking populace did their jobs.. they went to the ballot box, they picked a candidate, and then they went home and waited to hear who won.

And they waited…

And they waited…

And they waited…

Come the morning after, there still wasn’t a winner.

Days have turned into almost two weeks, and STILL there hasn’t been a winner.

Instead, we’ve heard talking heads rail on recklessly about whether a "chad" was "dimpled", "pregnant", or "hanging." We’ve seen people whining and moaning about "confusing ballots" and recounts and hand recounts. We’re seeing the two parties raise vast sums of money and waging a continual PR campaign as if the elections never happened. We’ve seen lawyers and judges getting involved over election law and ballots and subverting government officials from doing their jobs. And we’re hearing those two pampered, spoiled, nepotistic career politicians talk endlessly about what is "fair" and what is "the will of the people."

Well, I hate to break it to Bush and Gore, but right now the will of the American people rests with four little words that someone should have told these two chowderheads a long time ago:


Let’s get brutally honest here… it doesn’t matter how this election fiasco in Florida ends, people are going to feel screwed over by the whole process. They’re going to feel that one candidate had stolen the election from the other.

This whole process has been made even worse when the candidates brought in the lawyers. And lawyers are pouring into the state of Florida by the limousines! Or should that be by the ambulance? The Democrats sent out a flare, and the American Trial Lawyers Association (the biggest political contributors that party has) heeded the call. Al Gore has even brought in anti-Microsoft lawyer David Boles and Alan Dershowitz, the man who got Klaus Von Bulow off of death row. I’m half expecting the rest of the OJ Simpson defense team to start showing up, with Johnnie Cochraine proclaiming "if the chad’s been pushed, then it don’t go to Bush!"

Some people in the media say that the lawyers are actually just making sure the process is followed according to the letter and the intent of the law. Uh-huh.. yeah, sure. Mind you, these are the same people who swear up and down a stack of bibles that Bill Clinton never had sex with "that woman", that Al Gore really did invent the Internet, and that somehow George and Jeb Bush became governors through their own achievements and not because of their father.

Can you say "credibility gap" boys and girls? Sure, I knew you could.

And let’s think about this for a second.. has anyone in Florida challenged the reliability of the objective, impartial, counting machines that counted the ballots there the first two times? I have yet to hear anyone do that. You keep on hearing the talking heads rant on and on about wanting a "fair and accurate count".. but nobody’s questioned the machines that are designed to do just that! Instead, we are hearing about Democrats wanting fallible, subjective, partisan human beings counting ballots, and Republicans claiming that the count is being manipulated because of those same fallible, subjective, partisan human beings.

Bear in mind that it really doesn’t matter to me WHO wins the Florida election, and consequentially the electoral college. Both of the dominant parties are equally undeserving in my opinion, and some of the reasons why are coming out here and now in Florida.

This is some bitter news for people to swallow, but it is the responsibility of the VOTERS to make sure their votes count. First by getting to the voting booths, then by making sure they follow the instructions in voting and making sure they picked the candidate they’ve selected. That’s it! If the voter can’t figure those things out, then their vote is discounted. It’s not up for some election committee to "guess" how you "wanted" to vote, and anyone who seriously thinks that should be their job needs to have their head examined… preferably with a blender.

Let’s face it.. George Bush and Al Gore have both stolen this election from the American people. Election day was supposed to be the one day that Joe and Jane Six-pack get to have their say. Not lawyers, not special interest groups, and certainly not the political hired guns talking about whether or not the people were "confused" by ballots. Joe and Jane Six-pack have had their day stolen from them first by Al Gore, and then by George Bush, in this endless string of lawsuits and allegations of ballot manipulation.

Unfortunately, there is very little we the people can do to stop this theft from continuing. It is a product of our own foolishness. We were the ones who bought into the myth that it was either Bush or Gore. We were sold on the Big Lie, and now we have to pay the price for choosing either of those two whiners.

And get used to it people, because no matter which bunch of thieves win the White House, we will have to put up with these kinds of antics for the next four years!

The screwing has only just begun!

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