Monday, August 24, 1998

Week of 08/24/1998

Sex, Lies, And Clinton - Part 2
Much Ado About ALMOST Nothing
- by David Matthews 2

I had almost done it.

I was prepared to completely ignore the media orgy called the Clinton Admission. I was prepared to discuss some other issues of the week. After all, there was much going on in the world that DIDN’T involve allegations of White House shenanigans with interns or lying thereof.

But then I read all the aftermath bull from USA Today, and I instantly got incensed over the tons of coverage of every little nuance that went on in the White House. I realized then that I had an issue to rant about. Not about Clinton, per se, but rather about everything surrounding the dreaded "L’affair Lewinsky."

First, let me start by saying those of you who know me know that I’m certainly not a supporter of Bill Clinton. I’ve never voted for the guy. I don’t care for his politics. I certainly don’t care for his administration.

Do I think Bill Clinton should be impeached? You bet your ISP account I do! But not for perjury or adultery. If Bill Clinton is to fall, I would want him to go down for his actions as the most unconstitutional president in American history, not for what he does in between bastardizing Constitutional amendments. As a Libertarian, I believe that what goes on in private between consenting adults is none of anybody’s business. And even though what supposedly went on between Bill and Monica is adultery, that is an issue that needs to be resolved between him and his wife. Yes, what he admitted to could even be illegal in the District of Columbia, even though that law, along with all the other blue-balls laws, should’ve been eradicated decades ago along with the laws that sanctioned slavery and spousal abuse. And yes, perjury is also a serious offense, but I say if perjury is the case, bring it before the court that the deception took place.

Having said those things, let’s look at the other players in this sad and sordid situation.

First and foremost, credit has to be given to members of Congress, whom, with the exception of a few individuals, have publicly said they will hold off on decisions until Grand Inquisitor Kenneth Starr has submitted his report to them. No doubt the Republicans are chomping at the bit about this situation. This is, after all, their payback for Watergate and Iran-Contra, and they don’t want to blow it now.

Then there’s the media.. You know, if you really took the media at their word, you’d think that this was the very first time a politician EVER lied to the American public. Do the words "READ MY LIPS - NO NEW TAXES" ring a bell? It should. It was just ten years ago that George Bush uttered those words at the GOP convention. Two years later, he broke his word. The press remembered that one, because they reminded him of it come the 92 elections. Why is it that suddenly they’re developing Clinton-like memory problems now?

You know, the whole sordid affair with the cable networks playing their little reminders about Clinton at the screen corners, and their guessing games about what Clinton was telling the Grand Jury made me sick. Hey guys, was this the ONLY piece of news out there in the whole wide mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world? I was waiting for those air-fluffed egos to start bringing in the psychics and the horoscope experts!

I’m waiting for someone besides myself to tell the press to lay off this second and third-hand reporting. It seems like EVERY story out of the mouths of the media starts off with "sources in the know report that.." You know what, I don’t need any source to tell me that this reeks of so much yellow journalism that the newspapers now have an ammonia smell when you open them up!

By the way, for the media clueless.. if the media reports a source as being "someone in the know of the grand jury" - that’s Kenneth Starr’s office, and they’re already being investigated for it, because leaking information of a grand jury is a federal crime. As for "someone close to Monica Lewinsky" - that’s either Monica’s lawyers or one of her other turncoat friends. Personally, I think that if Monica has anything to say, let her say it in public, don’t let her so-called "friends" leak it out to the media. I think we’ve had more than enough of her "friends" making matters worse for her.

Then there are our usual group of self-righteous morality players. Conservative icon Bill Bennett is, of course, using this opportunity to once again bash America for their supposed "lack of outrage" over the situation. His new book is even being released early in hopes to catch the last vestige of this media orgy. Nothing like a little self-righteous indignation, especially when you can use it to plug your book, huh Bill? Ever consider donating a portion of your royalties to support your brother’s firm for defending Clinton? Then, on the left is the "Mouth of the South" James Carville, ever the attack dog and Clinton defender, ranting on about this being "just about sex, sex, sex.." DUH! Tell us something we don’t know, Jimmy!

Let’s be brutally honest here folks, there are two reasons why this story has led us to the inevitable public admission about Slick Willie’s notorious emission:

(1) Sex sells! The bluenoses, moralists, and conservative busybodies may deny it, but even they will have to grudgingly admit that we all are still attracted to that primal side of us that they have for so long tried to suppress. Why did we lose track of all the other scandals? Because they’re boring! There’s no sex involved in any of them… well, except for Trooper-gate, and that apparently turned out to be a non-story.

(2) Drudge! The media absolutely will not admit this, but this whole scandal would never been given the overwhelming press coverage it got if it weren’t for some self-styled Internet reporter by the name of Matt Drudge. Think about it. Drudge reported on the article that Newsweek was going to drop! That’s why the mainstream media latched onto the Monica story like ravenous dogs. They got caught napping, and they didn’t want to be put in the position of being out-scooped in their own field! So not only did they steal the thunder from Drudge, but they also sank to his level as well and reported rumors and second-hand and third-hand information.

Well, that brings us back to you and me, the little people, Joe and Jane Six-Pack. I know the reason why there is no "outrage" that the conservatives keep bemoaning about.. because we all know what the voters were getting into. There is nothing about Bill Clinton that is different today than when he was campaigning as governor. I mean, come on! We knew he was lying to us about Gennifer Flowers, and his admission that his marriage has had some "troubles" on 60 Minutes was no different than the "inappropriate relationship" admission he made about Monica Lewinsky six years later. We all chucked when he said he "tried marijuana" but never "inhaled" and "didn’t like it." Who really believed him? Only the truly clueless. The rest of the sentient populace knew that was as close to an admission that the public was going to get that this guy wasn’t some sterile Stepford Pod Person.

I have to laugh when I pass by churches who bemoan on their sermon placards that somehow lying is a new virtue in politics. Lying in politics is as old as politics itself. You can’t romanticize politics with virtues of making the world a better place without hiding all the vices of it’s corrupting influences.

That’s the yin and yang of politics, folks, and the grand master of that art form is currently residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

No comments: