Monday, June 10, 1996

Week of 06/10/1996

(For the record: no, I am not the person on which this story is based upon.)

Eyes of an Abuser
-by David Matthews 2


How could I abuse the woman I love?

Well, sure I lose my temper on occasion. Who hasn't? Sure we argue. We've always argued. But we make up and things get better. That's what makes relationships stronger.

Angry? Well yeah I get angry sometimes. Why not? There are things I'd like us to do. See, I've got our life figured out, even if she doesn't. That's when we argue. She sometimes doesn't know what's best for her, but I do. Things will be fine once we get married.

OK, so we still argue. So what? Married people argue all the time. Besides, times are tough. She doesn't understand that I have to work hard to keep our family going. I work hard, and when I get home I expect things to be just right. I expect dinner to be ready for me. I want to unwind with what I want to watch on TV.

I don't know why she needs to be blabbing about our marriage to the whole neighborhood. They don't know us. They don't have to put up with all the frustrations I get. Maybe if she didn't waste her day talking to the neighbors, she'd have dinner ready for me on time.

Don't know why she called the police. It's not any of their business what we do. I don't know why they're here in MY house, on MY property. Besides, it's her fault to begin with. She's the one who's trying to complicate things.

It's not that I like to hurt her! Does she really think I enjoy hitting her? It burns me up to have to hit her. But it's not my fault! She drives me to it. If she spent her time doing what a good wife and mother is supposed to be doing I wouldn't have to hit her. Instead she wants to talk her little mouth off to all the neighbors about me, spreading lies about me.

She left me! Can you believe that? She actually left me! Me! Doesn't she realize we're married? Married people don't run off on each other. I don't know why she does this. I love her. Doesn't she know this? I love her.

Yeah, I promised things would be better. But it's not my fault! I didn't ask for this! Besides, she needs to be more understanding as well. Why is it that I'm the only one that has to change? I'm not the one who took our kids and ran out on this family! Why can't she understand me?

I don't believe it! She left me again! And now she's got this judge to issue some restraining order against me! Her own husband! I don't know why she's bringing out our problems to complete strangers! My parents never dragged their problems out for the whole world to see. I don't know why she's doing this! These strangers don't know how much I love her! They don't know us!

Divorce? No! I won't allow that! Marriage is until death do you part. We both took that oath. No judge and no sheriff can change that. They don't know us! Our love is eternal! No piece of paper will ever change that!

I need to speak with her. I need to convince her that she made a mistake, and that everything will be back to normal. No, better than normal. I just need to talk to her, that's all.

They won't even let me see her! How the hell do they expect us to work things out if they won't let me near her? Don't they know I'm her husband? I have a right to talk to her! That's my wife! We're supposed to be together! That's what a marriage is all about. We're together 'til death do we part! That was the deal, and I plan on upholding that deal!

DAILY PAPER: Man kills estranged wife before turning the gun onto himself yesterday. Police officials state the suspect had a long history of spousal abuse and was served with a restraining order just days before the fatal incident took place…

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