The 2012 Brutally Honest Awards
– by David Matthews 2
Yes, it’s December. The year is just about over with, and it’s time to wrap things up for 2012 with the Brutally Honest Awards.
The Biggest Winners of 2012: President Barack Obama and the Status Quo – It’s a no-brainer here. From sustaining Obama’s healthcare reform screwjob in the courts to the grand finale of the 2012 Presidential Morass, both Obama and the status quo have come out victorious. Big Oil got away with the Deepwater Horizon spill. Too Big To Fail got away with their criminal activities. Big Insurance got away with their huge con job on the American people – thanks in no small part to the U.S. Supreme Court. And Obama was re-elected to the White House thanks in no small part to…
The Biggest Losers of 2012: The GOP, Willard “Mitt” Romney, Conservatives, Neo-Conservatives, the so-called “Tea Party” people, talk radio, and Fox News – For a bunch of people that claimed to be all about heritage, they really failed Political History 101, didn’t they? They failed to learn the lessons of John Kerry and Bob Dole, so they ended up repeating them.
It’s not entirely their fault, of course. They could only work with the nominee they were given in the primaries. But it didn’t help that the party bosses decided they needed to prune the number of contenders even before a single primary ballot was cast. If they didn’t hold so many debates or didn’t have so many “straw polls” to try to predict who would eventually win (which, by the way, were proven wrong), maybe they would have ended up with a better nominee. But more on that later on…
The “We Won’t Miss You” Award for 2012: Todd Akin, Alan West, and Richard Mourdock – These guys were their own worst enemies.
Akin was probably the worst of the three, though, because he sits on the Congressional committee that oversees scientists, and he pulls one of the worst cockamamie anti-intellectual statements in the world regarding human female biology, and then doubles-down and says that he got it from a doctor that apparently cannot tell the difference between a human female and a duck female. How appropriate that these kinds of people are known as “Quacks”!
The “We Won’t Miss You” Runner-Up for 2012: Joseph Lieberman – The whiney little manipulator thought that he could control the Senate by pretending to be in the middle, when in fact he was a tool for the neo-cons. And now that he’s leaving, he’s whining that he regrets criticizing Obama in the 2008 GOP Convention while still claiming he’s the best thing the Democrats ever had. Hey Joe, did it ever occur to you that maybe you just being at the GOP convention would be enough of a stab in the back of your supposedly beloved Democrats? You went from being that party’s running mate in 2000 to the GOP’s celebrity politician eight years later. Did you think that such a Romney-style flip-flop would go unnoticed? I have more respect of the late Arlen Specter than I do for you, Joe, because at least he was honest about his shifting support.
The “Just Go Already” Award for 2012: Neal Boortz – Once upon a time, Atlanta’s radio loudmouth traded in his integrity for Bush Talking Points and exclusive White House lunches with other talk radio personalities. Since then, the only good thing that he did was to announce his retirement at the end of the year. While I will miss the old libertarian version of him, I will certainly not miss the bitter neo-con sell-out sphincter that he turned into these last few years.
The McCarthy-Cohen Award for Red-Scaring in 2012: Congressman Alan West – West thought that he could resurrect McCarthyism for the 21st Century with his claim that he had “a list” of supposedly admitted members of the “Communist Party”. A little reminder, Congressman: Joe McCarthy was a fear-mongering fraud that turned Americans into paranoid fascists. When he was finally disgraced and censured for the damage he caused to the nation, to the point where he began to question the very Armed Forces he was once a member of, he did the only good thing… he drank himself to death.
Did you get that Congressman? The man you emulated with your “Hate-The-Democrats” crusade died a miserable dishonorable self-loathing drunk! Is it any wonder why your own constituents voted you out of office last month?
The “Rot In Hell” Award for 2012: Andrew Breitbart – He destroyed careers without a care in the world. Thankfully the fates and forces of the universe decided that they had enough of him. Sadly, though, his death was not treated in the same venomous way as he lived it by those that were hurt the most by his actions. Once again the criminals get off easy with death.
The “Bigger Man” Award for 2012: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie – When Super-Mega-Storm-of-Doom Sandy hit New Jersey, Governor Christie stopped being a politician and acted like a state leader. He deserves to be commended for doing that, especially since it was just a week before the General Election.
The “Why Can’t We Be Rid Of Them” Award for 2012: Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove, Rush Limbaugh, Attorney General Eric Holder, and Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi – Rove’s Fox News meltdown on Election Night, sadly, will not spell the end of his career, either as a SuperPAC consultant or as a so-called “political consultant” for the media. And if you want to know why, then all you have to do is look at someone like Rush Limbaugh.
Limbaugh recklessly and needlessly trashed the reputation of Sandra Fluke concerning congressional testimony she was invited to give but was not allowed to present because of GOP manipulations. In other words, she was – at the time – a private citizen, which means the “public figure exemption” would not apply. Why he wasn’t immediately sued for defamation still boggles the mind. It would really be the only way he would be held to account for his actions. The controversy surrounding Glenn Beck proved that economic boycotts do not work as a way to control media personalities.
Holder has proven that the screwjobs will continue against America. Big Corporate and “Too Big To Fail” will continue to run roughshod across the America with no accountability whatsoever as long as they give out economic “pocket change” for compensation.
As for Congresswoman Pelosi, obviously we cannot control the voters in her district (contrary to the GOP script), but her continual delusion that she’s “doing something” in Congress as House Minority Leader will continue to hurt the Democrats and the American people by extension. You know, I may criticize former Speaker Newt Gingrich for a lot of things, but the one thing that he did right was when he set a goal in 1998 and he failed to meet that goal, he actually stepped down. The fact that Pelosi doesn’t have the courage to do that this time around is proof enough that she is only doing this country a disservice.
The Lamest Excuse For Failure Award for 2012: Dick Morris – So former Clinton hired-gun-turned-Fox-News-hired-gun is one of many that predicted that Mitt Romney would win by a landslide. But then he turns around and he says that he KNEW that Romney wasn’t going to win by a landslide but he supposedly felt “obligated” to make that prediction anyway because of… morale!
No, I’m not kidding. That’s his explanation. “I spoke about what I believed, and I think that there was a period of time when the Romney campaign was falling apart, people were not optimistic, nobody thought there was a chance of victory. And I felt that it was my duty at that point to go out and say what I said. And at the time that I said it, I believe I was right.”
There you have it, folks. Dick Morris spins a lie about a landslide victory just so the Romney camp could feel good about themselves.
There’s a double reason why you’re called “Dick”, Dick. The first is who you are, Dick; and the second is what you are, Dick!
The “Why Haven’t You Packed Yet” Award for 2012: Rush Limbaugh – Limbaugh supposedly made a promise that if Obama’s healthcare reform program passed and was enacted that he would leave the country. Guess what? It did and he didn’t. Surprised? Why?
Come to think of it…
The Most Overused Childish Threat for 2012 That Needs To Die A Painful Death: Leaving The Country- The people that make that kind of asinine promise never follow through with it! Ever! The people that actually leave the country for political reasons are the ones that don’t threaten to do it; they just do it. The ones that just threaten to do it will later invent some explanation as to why they have to renege on it.
There is an easy way to fix this: If you’re a radio syndicator or a network producer or a newspaper publisher, you need to make it clear that if your “talent” makes that kind of promise of leaving the country, that it is your responsibility to help them follow through with it. You let them know that their office will be vacated, their parking lot space given up, their final check cut, a limo ready to take them to the airport, and that you would wish them well in whatever country they end up in. All it takes is for one of these overpaid loudmouths to actually be held to their promise for this “threat” to be eliminated.
The Most Sickening Realization of the 2012 Presidential Morass: Obama Could Have Been Beaten! – Obama is not perfect. He was far from being the kind of President that America needs. He did some things right, but he and his people also had far too many mistakes and misfires. The reason why he won had less to do with anything that he did and a whole lot more to do with who ended up running against him.
If the GOP had backed a more credible candidate, such as Gary Johnson, then Obama would probably have been voted out of office this past November. Instead, the party bosses tossed Johnson away before a single primary or caucus vote could be cast.
Now think about this: all of the settlements and deals that have been made from this summer right up until now could have all been different if someone like Johnson ended up as the GOP nominee. If there was actual pressure for Obama to be the kind of president that he claimed to be for the sake of his re-election, then you can bet your last penny that he probably would have cracked the whip on his people to not screw the nation over as they have this past summer and fall.
But because the political bosses of a flawed party backed a flawed candidate, there was no real pressure for Obama’s people to do right by the nation. They didn’t have to work to be “better than” the GOP… they just had to be seen as “not as bad as” the GOP.
That’s something that should keep you up at night no matter who you supported.
The Most Asinine “Need To Learn Pain” Group for 2012: The Secessionists – It’s one thing to lose the 2012 Morass and be bitter about it. It’s another thing entirely to lose and then throw temper tantrums about losing and scream to want to take “your state” and leave the United States.
If you are one of those people that signed those secession petitions, then I don’t ever want to hear from you ever again about the subject of patriotism and the “glory” of the United States of America. Ever! You have forfeited your claim to any kind of national fidelity when you signed those petitions!
And if anyone else in the Brutally Honest community agrees with me, then I hope you’ll get in the faces of these secessionists about it and help put them in their place. You do not tell other Americans “love it or leave it” and then turn around and say “I hate you, it’s time for a secession!” That kind of hypocrisy should never go unchallenged!
The Most Asinine Supreme Court Decision for 2012: Forced Insurance As A “Tax” – The justices of the Supreme Court split a legal hair so fine that they almost needed an electron microscope. I’m not surprised that they would sustain Obama’s healthcare reform program, because their mission in life is to sustain the status quo, but I do not agree with the rationalization they gave to fulfill that mission. Calling it a “tax” does not change the fact that the government is still forcing people to get insurance whether they can afford it or not.
By the way, I don’t buy the notion that a Romney victory would have resulted in the law’s repeal. I would speculate that he’d invent some kind of excuse to justify keeping it around. Remember that Romney’s own “reform program” in Massachusetts was supposedly the blueprint that Obama used for his. Do you really think that he’d be willing to do anything to change that if left to his own devices? The man who flip-flopped more times than John Kerry?
The “My Political Kung-Fu Is Stronger” Award for 2012: The GOP’s “War on Women” – For a party that tried to deny they were waging political war on women while allowing their extremists to trash women and women’s issues, they certainly shouldn’t be surprised to see their efforts go for naught come Election Day.
The “Cr@p Or Get Off The Pot” Award for 2012: The so-called “Tea Party” – It is high time that the people that call themselves the “Tea Party” crowd stop lying to themselves and stop lying to others and to admit to the world that they are really nothing more than an extremist wing of the GOP and a part of the very problem that they claim they want to fix.
Here’s a little hint: if you continually support nothing but GOP candidates, even GOP candidates like Mitt Romney who initially make your stomach churn in disgust, then you are not independents! You are frauds and hacks! And worse yet, you don’t even want to accept the reality that you’re being played by the very people you claim to hate!
Visit the library, you “tea party” fraudsters, and look up the Know-Nothing Party. Everything they did over a century ago, you’ve been doing the complete opposite; and then you wonder why the GOP ends up with people like Mitt Romney on the ballot. You’re not the so-called “silent majority”. That group is a myth concocted by the late Richard Nixon to give the illusion of support where there was little. You are neither “silent” nor the “majority”, and it is time for you to either own up to your GOP masters and dissolve or else form that “third party” that you constantly threaten to do.
The “Screw The System” Award for 2012: Senator-Elect Elizabeth Warren – This is “Too Big To Fail’s” worst nightmare! She exposed the scam of TARP. She pushed for and got the Consumer Protection Agency, and even when Wall Street and the GOP screwed her out of being the permanent director of that agency, she’s now taken over Scott Brown’s seat in the U.S. Senate. And “Too Big To Fail” is now deathly afraid that she’ll end up on the very Senate committee that overlooks their activities! I hope she gets that committee assignment, and I hope she puts the screws to “Too Big To Fail” like they were Gitmo detainees!
The Best Movie of 2012: Marvel’s “The Avengers” – This is a no-brainer. Yes the movie had plot holes and was a bit slow at times, but once it got moving, only one word could be used to describe the action: Epic!
Unfortunately the success also set the bar pretty high for other superhero movies. Marvel now has to keep the energy going with “Iron Man 3” and the other movies in preparation for “Avengers 2” in 2015. DC, meanwhile, has to follow through with the end of the “Dark Knight” trilogy, meet the high expectations with “The Man Of Steel”, and then keep the excitement going to their own production of “Justice League” in 2015. Not an easy task given DC’s hit-and-miss record, but theoretically they could pull it off.
Then again, theoretically, I could win the lottery tomorrow.
The Best New Hero Series of 2012: CW’s “Arrow” – After last year’s super-fail of “Smallville’s” finale, there was a lot of talk about the new series featuring Green Arrow. Some thought it would be a spin-off of “Smallville”. Others thought it would be the hero-in-jail “Super Max” idea that continually got floated about. A lot of people thought “Arrow” would suck as bad as “Smallville” did in its last seasons. Surprisingly, the first few episodes worked! It certainly beat out all expectations that I had about it. And it also warranted its own “Hero Corner” review on TGWTG.
The Saddest Day and Time of 2012: December 1st, 2012, 02:59:59 (Eastern Standard Time) – The precise time and day when the City of Heroes MMO officially shut down.
The Worst Corporate Decision of 2012: NCSoft Shutting Down “City Of Heroes” – There really was no reason for NCSoft to do what they did to City of Heroes. No reason at all! It was bringing in steady income, it had an insanely-loyal user-base, it provided its own advertising through its users, and it was making money with the pay-for-features. In other words, it was surviving. Then again, the more that people learn about the Korean-based corporation and how it manages MMO games, the more that we discover that they really have no sense of running an international business.
The Worst Television Decision of 2012: Cartoon Network suddenly shelving the “DC Nation” programming block – Again, no reason whatsoever for Cartoon Network to do this. None! Especially when it’s done without any kind of notice prior to its schedule airtime and then making an off-handed comment about it six hours later. No, it is not acceptable. Even the people that produced the various shows in question were not told of this decision. The people responsible for this asinine decision need to be fired!
The Second-Worst Television Decision of 2012: Ending “CSI: Miami” – There was no reason for CBS to do this. None whatsoever! (This is starting to be a pattern, isn’t it?) It was a good series with plenty of neon color to attract the HDTV crowd.
To the network programmers: may your dreams be filled with Horatio Caine dispensing “Miami Justice”.
The “How Desperate Are You Really” Award for 2012: Playboy founder Hugh Hefner – For those that don’t know, Hef is going to get married on New Year’s Eve to the same woman that broke off the wedding last year.
No, I’m not making this up. I wish I were. And I’m pretty sure that Hef’s accountants wished this was a joke as well, because the last time around it cost him a quarter-of-a-million dollars.
Hef, I know it’s hard finding that certain someone. Viagra and money help. But take it from someone who has never had a girlfriend in all his forty-six years of existence and has known nothing but heartbreak, disappointment, and betrayal: it doesn’t get better the second-time around. It only gets worse. And I really don’t think there’s a pre-nup agreement in the world that can overcome that.
The Celebrity That Really Needs To Take A Break: Lindsay Lohan – Ms. Lohan, you have problems. While I appreciated your appearance in Playboy, the stories that have appeared since makes one wonder if you’ve really cleaned up your act since incarceration.
The Reality Show That Really Needs To Be Erased From All Our Collective Memories: “Honey Boo-Boo” – “Toddlers and Tiaras” was bad enough!
The ShockNet Radio Show That Deserves More Attention in 2013: “Hard Luck Chuck’s Juke Joint” – Dr. Charles Doswell, aka “2Buck Chuck”, aka “Hard Luck Chuck”, really created a very innovative straight-up look at the blues this year that needs two things: more listeners, and more airtime. Hopefully there will be both for 2013.
The Most Appropriate Saying for 2012: The New GOP Philosophy -
It’s only “right” when it’s done by them.
It’s only “wrong” when it’s done to them.
And finally…
The Greatest Insult To Whole The Human Race in 2012: The Sickening Wave of Anti-Intellectualism – When you have a representative to a presidential contender boast that their campaign “will not be dictated by fact-checkers”, when you have politicians overseeing science grants openly calling science the work of the devil, when you have a dominant political party and its supporters fabricating history to justify their own abuses, you don’t just have a party full of people with a serious psychological problem. You have a political faction – specifically the conservatives and neo-conservatives – that is embracing fascism for their own political gains.
Yes, anti-intellectualism is a key sign of fascism. Look it up. Use that brain of yours to do something other than to turn on Fox News!
Let’s get brutally honest here… when facts and truth are considered political biases to be rejected or else negated by some fictional and fraudulent claim of “the other side does it too”, we’re not just insulting ourselves, our political affiliations, or even our nation. We’re insulting countless years of social and biological progress! We’re telling the people that spend their time learning and studying and earning positions of intellectual respect that they don’t matter anymore! We’re telling those intellectual people that we would rather listen to some overpaid self-important tabloid hack that claims that Christianity is “not a religion” in order to justify it being given preferential treatment over any other religion.
“Shooting for the stars” used to mean going to the Moon. Today it means going on “American Idol” or becoming a YouTube sensation. We spent two hours glued to our televisions watching a man ride a balloon all the way to the edge of space and then skydive down safely, and then later in that same week complain about wasting money on education and wonder why we teach evolution instead of religious dogma. We’re told that we’re lagging behind the rest of the industrialized world in terms of what we know and how we care for each other, and the GOP script tells us that we should dismiss what the rest of the world thinks of us, get the hell out of the United Nations, and pump more money into military spending so we can protect the world from those “radical extremists” that aren’t Christians.
Oh but don’t worry about those things. It’s time to worry about whether or not we’re going to go over a fiscal cliff of the GOP’s own creation. That and whether or not we would exceed a spending ceiling also of the GOP’s own creation. And worrying about whether Christmas would be “cancelled” in a war of Fox News’ own creation.
Oh, and we’re not supposed to worry about those things either, right? Because the world is supposed to come to an end on the 21st according to the Mayan doomsday people.
Well if we’re still around after that, and the economy doesn’t automatically implode after the New Year, we’ll be back here in January with round two of the Obama White House so we can start playing these petty little games again. Happy Holidays, screw you Bill O’Reilly, and we’ll be at it again in 2013.
