I remember the days when “The Illuminati” was the name of the secret evil cabal that would run everything in the world. A group of the richest of richest families all hiding out in a cave on a remote island somewhere giving their orders to the other countries and corporations. Wars, economic booms and busts, expansions, these were all supposedly done at the behest of “The Illuminati”. The late George Carlin referred to them as “The Owners”, and while people laughed at it, thinking it was part of his sketch, he was serious about it. It wasn’t just part of his standup sketch, but something he would bring up in serious discussions.
Fun fact: there really was a group called “The Illuminati”. It existed in 19th Century Bavaria, back in the day when “secret societies” were all the rage among the elite and the effete in Europe. It was like joining a book club. They’d talk, they’d dream, they’d fantasize, but that was really it. Then they were outlawed and most folks sort of went back to brooding in their homes.
Some people think the Masons or Freemasons are “The Illuminati”. As the son of a mason, I can’t really say it’s as “all powerful” as described, even though a lot of the foundation of America came from them. I’m more concerned with the actions the U.S. Chamber of Commerce than I would with the local masonic group.
But, truth be told, the “Illuminati” is a better group for fiction than in real life. And this comes from a published writer who used fictional groups similar to the “Illuminati” in my comics.
That brings us to the latest in conspiracy groups... QAnon, or Q Anonymous, or whatever you want to call it other than Coocoo for Cocoa Puffs.
The story is this: there is this guy “in the know” that refers to himself as “Q”. He claims that there is this evil cabal of pedophiles in positions of power in both politics and entertainment – all liberals, mind you – and they abduct children as slaves, and there’s something to do with drinking blood because the people in these cabals are lizard people or they just want to be immortal.
Oh but wait, there’s more. According to this group, their lord and savior, Narcissist Donald Trump, was actually working to uncover this evil cabal and bring them all down in something they refer to as “The Storm”. All he supposedly needed was time. Until then, believers of “Q” are supposed to put up with Narcissist Trump’s antics because they were all part of his “undercover work”. And they also believe that President Joe Biden is really not the president, but a puppet for Narcissist Trump, who will supposedly “unleash The Storm” and then he will resume his “rightful” place in the White House after arresting Biden and the rest of the supposed cabal members.
Like I said... Coocoo for Cocoa Puffs.
Now this “Q” thing didn’t just pop up overnight. Much like the Salem Witch Trials of the 17th Century and the Day Care witch-hunt of the 1980’s, this thing took a life all its own the more and more it was discussed among these little discussion groups. In 2016, it was about Hillary Clinton and those alleged emails. Then it involved a pizza place. Then it became a “secret child sex slave dungeon” in the basement of said pizza place... that had no basement. Then it became the “cabal” of all of the conservative enemies. Then Narcissist Trump as the bringer of “The Storm”. Somewhere the lizard thing and drinking blood got brought in.
Now if some of this sounds familiar, then, congratulations, you’ve seen at least a few episodes of “South Park”! The “secret cabal”, the sex slaves, the dungeons, the pedophilia, the green alien people... those all came from “South Park”. Maybe Trey Parker and Matt Stone should sue them for copyright infringement.
Isn’t it funny that the alleged cabal compose entirely of the conservative “enemies list”? Liberals, Hollywood, academic elites, reporters, the so-called “Deep State” (aka anyone not blindly loyal to the narcissist), but you don’t see any actual conservatives in that alleged mix.
And the goalposts... the much-promised “Storm”. You notice that date keeps changing once the narcissist lost the election. Used to be after the election, then the certification day, then January 6th, then Inauguration Day, then the supposed “real Inauguration Day” on March 4th, then this past Saturday, and then... well who knows? But the date of this promised “Storm” keeps on changing. That’s not how storms work.
Let’s get brutally honest here, folks... this isn’t just some wacky conspiracy. It’s more than just a cult.
This is a con-job.
It has all the trapping of a con-game. A “Great Secret”, a demand for blind loyalty, a promised payoff, goal posts that continually get changed, and, oh, yeah, a financial element through the “campaign donations”, even after Narcissist Trump left the White House. All that is missing is Stacy Keach narrating the play-by-play on CNBC’s “American Greed”.
Now for those of you who think that this whack-a-doodle con is “harmless”, I want you to think back to 2016. Remember Pizzagate? That’s what “Q” used to be. In December of 2016, a man drove from North Carolina to Washington DC and stopped at the Comet Ping Pong pizza place. He showed up with assault weapons and claimed he was there to “rescue the children” that were supposedly being held in the basement of the pizzeria... which has no basement. A domestic terrorist who showed up at a restaurant full of people, claiming to look for a basement that did not exist. And all because of a Facebook post from that past October claimed it existed.
Harmless? Bullshit.
Remember the insurrection of this past January 6th? Many of the people who stormed the Capital Building were “Q” followers. Hell, one of the most noticeable people leading the insurrection was a guy who called himself the “QAnon Shaman”! That insurrection and acts of sedition resulted in the death and assault of police officers.
Harmless? Bullshit!
And now this... on March 3rd, right before the supposed “real Inauguration Day”, a QAnon follower drove from Wisconsin to Washington DC in a vehicle full of QAnon symbols and a fully-loaded AR-15 with armor-piercing ammunition. He told the Capital Police – still on high alert because of the insurrection – that he was there to “test” the National Guard troops the next day. He said he wanted to “test” the soldiers there to see where their “loyalties” were. If he was shot and possibly killed, then he would know the soldiers were loyal to President Biden. And if they didn’t shoot him, then he would supposedly “unite” them along with what he claimed would be eight billion followers.
Harmless? Bull-Effing-Shit!
It would be one thing if the whole “Q” thing dissolved after Inauguration Day, when that promised “Storm” didn’t happen. But it didn’t. Just like many other failed prophecies, the ringleaders just keep moving the goal posts. Just like the con-artists running Ponzi schemes, or “The Great Disappointment” of 1844 which ended up being a full-blown religious following. They keep going until they either go bust or until a government entity shuts them down.
But this is not some financial racket, or a religious following telling people to pray and to sell all their belongings and prepare for the rapture. This is a dangerous following with people carrying weapons and are willing to kill others. They should be regarded as a domestic terrorist group, not a social circle for the self-entitled.
The original Illuminati was disbanded because the government deemed secret societies “harmful”. Not that they really tried to overthrow governments. They were simply too ambitious. They were all talk and no action. These “Q” folks are nothing like that, and that should make the rest of us concerned.
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